When I got home from work around 4:00, you were still napping. Mom left to go to work, I had some leftovers for lunch, and you woke up around the time I was done. I gave you a snack of Cinnamon Cheerios and bacon, and then we made our way to the living room.
I turned on some Christmas cartoons for you, put some of your toys conveniently nearby, and I sat down with my keyboard and mouse to get some work done. Apparently my work looked like more fun than your toys and cartoons (trust me, it wasn't), and you immediately came over to play along. You grabbed my keyboard by the corner with the PC shutdown button, shutting my computer down and my productivity right along with it.
While my computer was rebooting, you headed for the Christmas tree and started tugging on the lights. I scolded, "Avery, no." You looked at me, hesitated a moment, and went for them again. Again, I said, "Avery, no." So you gave up on the lights and started pulling ornaments off instead. Fragile ornaments. Expensive ornaments. Ornaments with sharp, dangerous hooks. "Avery, no!" I shouted and pulled you away from the tree. I sat you down gently back in front of the TV with your bottle of juice and bowl of Cheerios. This seemed acceptable for the moment, but as soon as I sat back down with my keyboard, you were back to pound on the keys again.
As I was gently moving you away from the keyboard, I smelled the familiar aroma of a poopy diaper. So I carried you to your room to freshen you up. This diaper change went well. No major problems whatsoever...unlike one that came later.
When we returned to the living room, I knew I wasn't going to get anything done until you went to bed or Mom got home, whichever came first. So I just held you on my lap and we relaxed and watched cartoons together for awhile until I started getting hungry for dinner. Knowing that I couldn't leave you unsupervised around my computer and the Christmas tree, I took you to the kitchen with me. Besides, I figured you'd want to share some rice with me. (You really, really love rice in just about any form or flavor.)
Dinner with you was fun as usual. We ate and played and made funny noises and faces at each other like we always do. The rice apparently made you really thirsty though, because you finished off your juice and then went through a full, tall bottle of water. Quickly.
When we had finished eating, I took you from your high chair to discover that your pants were soaked with pee. So we went straight upstairs to do another diaper change and get you some clean pants. Clean baby, new diaper, fresh pants -- all was good. You seemed to really want to stay in your room to play with your books, so I let you, since there's nothing dangerous in your room and I would easily be able to keep an eye on your door from the bottom of the stairs.
I went back downstairs to try again to work, and then remembered that I needed to wash my hands after that gross experience, so I went to the kitchen sink for what must have been less than 10 seconds. When I returned, you had somehow made it down two stairs. You were sitting comfortably on the second stair from the top, smiling and patting your hand on the railing. I have no idea how you did that, especially so quickly.
As I started up the stairs to get you, you turned and crawled up to the top, then stood up by supporting yourself with the railing. When I reached you, there was the poopy diaper scent again. Yes, not even five minutes from the last diaper change, you needed another.
This is where the real fun began. You didn't want another diaper change and you fought it. As soon as I had you wiped off, you went crawling away, your naked butt wiggling as you went. I grabbed you by the waist to keep you from fleeing, but this just angered you. I covered your butt with the diaper and started to attach the fasteners when you broke away, ripping the fastener off of the diaper as you bolted for the door.
Normally I close your door at diaper time because you like to escape before the job is finished, but this time I didn't. You were out the door and heading down the hall to the bathroom. I grabbed a new diaper, powdered it quickly, and then pursued you.
I was too late. You had stopped just inside the bathroom door, on your hands and knees, and made a huge pee puddle right there on the floor. "Aw, Avery!" I whined, but you just crawled over to the tub, stood up, and then did it again. You made sounds as if you were very pleased with yourself as you watched your pee stream splatter against the side of the tub and soak into the bath mat below. While you were distracted, I threw the new diaper around you and fastened it, then grabbed a hand towel to dry you off, and then soaked up the floor puddle.
Exhausted now, I just held you on my lap again as we sat on the couch and watched TV until Mom came home. By then, it was nearly your bedtime. Thank goodness!
Even after all of this, I still love you more than anything in the universe. Weird, huh?
